an iris …
… might be nice this retirement …
I have been a full time artist for several weeks; not enjoying being my own boss although I am discovering some delights. However, not before I realised that I am hard task master, have outrageous expectations and fail to give praise. After tears and dramas I have become watchful and learning to be my own best friend.
Especially as I do spend most mornings from dawn in the studio and afternoons preparing for the next day … and evenings pretty exhausted.
On the plus side I have learned a lot; doggedly repeating techniques and exercises with either silk screen printing or learning about my Adana press; is paying off. Perhaps, the results are not aesthetically pleasing yet; simple things like time management, preparation of papers and inks, adapting a good workspace, drying times and reasonable expectations; all things that were hit and miss have become better controlled with not so many horrible or happy accidents.. I am learning left from right, top and bottom; so important when printing, registration is improved and other technical disciplines are falling to place.
So these weeks of focus, when I have been feeling so lost and alone have been bitter sweet.
I am thinking that if I can find ways to soften the load, with say, some outings and simply in the garden with a cup of tea and cakeI might enjoy this retirement malarky.
Last of the tulips ..
Round the corner … a little step
Today 4 weeks into my retirement; after a time of heart heaving, grief and regret; I turn a corner and today I put on a skirt! Now, to some they may say ‘So what?’ but my skirts are 14 inches long; 2 inches longer than those I wore in 1966! Therefore, I am am today in more ways than one (remember no hair) I am exposed to this nasty cold wind; but celebrate a step out of the gloom.
However, while I have missed the work situation I have been working hard as an artist and here is a little linocut that I did yesterday and today I will be trying the image as a screen print. So happier days ahead!
From the garden this morning …
birds are singing too …
… retirement …
I have started to write this post many times even got as far as publishing, in my head that it is. I have been ‘retired’ from paid full time employment for nearly three weeks. While I had been planning this event for many months and looking forward to the extra time and space; I had intentions to document all the joys daily.
There is no doubt I have been busy and enjoyed opportunities that time brings; and as I hoped there is a lot of material for blog posts and even an exhibition already. I have begun a pottery class and my garden is looking glorious. I am happy to have retired.
Sadly, as I suffer from bipolar; so for me the reality is not always that clear; after fifty years of daily contact, pattern and structure, that and the need; as employees the joy of being needed outweighs all the disadvantages we associate with employment … unsociable hours, poor pay and the damned structure!
I don’t want to return to work , find structure, company or even more money … I just have to accept for a while life is complicated.
Or a bit grey like the pot … but is improving …
More than 40 years ago today …
I had my first child … and on that day my mother picked some Lilac … while I don’t need reminding of that day; it early blooms serve as an added celebration
Shhh … its Sunday
Guilty as charged …
Since returning from Brazil last summer and dealing with some personal struggles; I have conducted my life as best I could. Anyone, who knows about depression; there is conducting: as in conducting an unruly crowd on a bus, there is conducting an orchestra of musicians all with one eye on the baton and then there’s the herd of cats!
So while not making light of depression or those suffering from other horrible conditions; from one day to the next I’m not sure where I am in the realm of ‘herding cats’, and being home having more time to consider may or not help. Like I said, at best I have coped and life goes on. However, during that time I have been ‘altering’ a book; now as library assistant such an act is a hanging offence; so it something I haven’t spoken too much about. Also, in the light of the above mentioned muddled condition it doesn’t always have attractive results … or those that can be shared. So while time has gone on; pages remain unfinished and others dark and melancholic; I delight in some light and shapes that simply need a hymn of progress …
Coat Hanger Doll's House 