With the ugly one …

I had lots of kind and thoughtful responses to my post yesterday and I feel much loved and grateful. 

My depression is like an ugly companion with whom I spend my days but with management he/she doesn’t impinge too much, sadly it’s the anxiety,  self-loathing and doubt, it brings that restricts me sometimes and particularly this time of year. 

My ugly friend is a bully (or a kindly project manager) who keeps me in the moment and ensures that I keep working to block out the grief … as a result I do have a substantial body of unseen work for a book perhaps.  I have also applied for a commission which involves a substantial sum of money and a film and remains beyond my wildest dreams. 

So, if we are talking ‘book’ then I have much to learn about self-publication and Affinity Publisher and a film then, I must design a set, dress some characters and write a script …  bring on the kind project manager … but this can only happen if I can keep the anxiety and doubt at bay …