Saturday and the empty nest

This week has been different; with lots going on.  First, I am not enjoying my usual good health and I am a little anxious about my ability to have enough items for a forthcoming show. Also we heard that my daughter’s application for a work visa in Brazil has been ‘bestowed’ or accepted.

Even when ‘suffering’ from poor health I can usually muddle through and often find some joy in finding fitness again.  However, my preparations for a little Christmas Art show, hampered by my lack of self worth is not helped by low immune. So while I am at one moment happy and content that everything is going smoothly a small disaster  can rock me into the depths of despair!

All this and my daughter’s long awaited good fortune could result in a celebration and/or tears.  

My daughter has been living in Brazil for two and half years .  Her application for a work permit has been fraught with difficulties from day one.  We are of course delighted with the result it will mean that now she will be able to work legally and make a living.  She has during this time studied, worked and contributed to the Brazilian economy; but there was always a niggling doubt that she would be refused the right to work or not allowed back into the country should she leave.  As she is planning a trip home at Christmas we really did want her to be legal.

So why does this have a negative impact on my already dreary week?

‘M’ is my youngest and beloved child; I wish her happiness and I know this good news brings joy to both sides of the ocean.  

But for me in an already vulnerable state feels like the umbilical cord now has been severed.  I feel like the separation over two years ago that left a wound has reopened.  

I am hoping the healing mechanisms put in place when ‘M’ went to University and to Brazil  will kick in again and the joy I found then will bring comfort and dry the tears.