Great expectations … a pun intended!
I am on my way to my first writer’s group meeting at a local hotel; a little step from my comfort zone. I have a little stash of tried and tested tools to make these little expeditions more comfortable; mascara, lippy never leave home without them – but not well plastered. The right outfit a subtle blend of clean and and not too tidy; so I don’t stand out too much. But I still need to be noticed so a scarf with a strategic twist.
I knew the place; I had been here before for a work’s christmas social then the inmates are well oiled and happy. I had not noticed then the building and its overall shabbiness. It had been a theatre formerly and I assume very grand and elegant. Now, it had been hideously renovated with a Charles Dickens’ theme. That was cold and unwelcoming; no christmas carols (no pun intended) and swaths of decorations. More like the public houses found around the entrance to a railway station.
It was too much to expect waitress service and a choice of tea and a pot!!
I remain unruffled; although the idea of a Writing Group was not so engaging. I remembered now that a quiz was on the menu. This was a good distraction, delaying tactic, call it what you will; I can invent those at a drop of a hat. I waited my turn as the other writers in the growing queue shuffled uncomfortably. Watching the small gatherings in dimly lit corners of the bar; getting more like Fagin’s den – I warming to the Dickens’ theme. The sounds of street and the passing traffic echoed coldly as the entrance doors swung open. Letting in a blast of cool air and the not so delicate fragrance of toilet cleanser. Thinking, that cigarette smoke would have disguised that rather unpleasant smell.
Eventually my turn came; the barman, a boy he seemed, serving us through a tussle of blond curls without the honour of eye contact. Clearly, he had lost the will to live and the desire to please after serving various pints of beer, lager and coke in close succession. Oh! I forgot that is what a barman does. And now me; wanting to know what teas they served as if I was in the Ritz. ‘Normal’ he said as he sidled away to dunk a tea bag into a mug scalding water dispensed from a tap by the coffee machine. Before I could continue my lady at the Ritz routine ‘What no Earl Grey with lemon?’
Ah well, it can only get better …
An interruption to my silent Sunday
Saturday supplication.
Last night I attended my first Poets’ Cafe at the South Street Arts Centre in Reading (this has been a week of firsts i will tell you about the other later!) It was a little bit of heaven; wall to wall poets. I was in awe and went home and to bed buzzing; waking throughout the night with snatches of poems coming and going like dreams.
So, as I do on my meditation cushion each morning I sit and this morning a prayer …
A song comes to mind Puff the magic dragon a pop tune of the 60s vivid in my mind. I believe a product, creation, a response to LSD – an hallucinogenic song although this has been strongly denied nonetheless,
I think ‘If only’.
I, without the use of such harmful drugs, will never be able to grab such images and place them in a coherent poem.
Whilst accept humbly my misdoings, this is my wish for today
That I see the world more deeply and broadly without the harsh exterior of black and white that I have laid upon it as a protection from reality.
May I see some friendly dragons today.
Friday’s library snapshot …
These recent aquisitions were displayed in the Main Library Foyer during the Spring Term. Before I returned them to our ‘Children’s Collection’ scanned a couple of images to share.
Books that I remember as a child and my mother too
The Ginger & Pickles by Beatix Potter was published in 1909 and the Grey Rabbit’s May Day by Alison Uttley was published in 1963.
A little sadness in Rio today … the graffiti cleansed!
I am sad about this; my daughter who lives in the Morro da Babilônia (a favela in Rio de Janeiro) sent me this picture.
I took this picture while I was in Rio in March.
The favela has been cleansed and regenerated in preparation for the Earth Summit 2012 http://www.earthsummit2012.org/ For me this ‘cleansing’ is a step to far … What next? Children must file past in an orderly fashion, smiling and waving flags!
It is interesting alongside this summit the is another conference going on called the Peoples Summit and there is a Women’s March planned for the 18th so issues such as this will addressed. http://cupuladospovos.org.br/en/
100 Word Challenge for Grown Ups – Week#45
Even while we knew his wages would not be enough to match the outgoings . When he didn’t take his turn to empty the pee pot. We knew that his side of the bed was not always slept in. Even when they argued in the dead of night. As he shaved in the dim light of the scullery; peering into a broken piece of mirror propped against the battered kettle; without a sideways glance at his little brood watching his every move intently.
While we knew this time he would not come home ; there was still a buzz about the place.
Wednesday’s wise women … mothers.
We hear a lot about baby boomers; children who are born during the boom period after a war. Their existence; the opportunities and success they are bound achieve.
But what about the girl who is born fifteen years before a war. Her life is cut short; her education ended. Her opportunities will be null and void. Any hope of university, a chance to develop a career or indeed form a long and meaningful relationship and have babies will be dashed. Instead she will seconded to the war effort making arms, working on a farm or fighting on the front lines. After years of disruption and loss; she returns to her home if it is still there to pick up the pieces.
Without a complete education the girl is at the mercy of the homecoming heroes. To recreate the lost community. She becomes a machine to produce a future workforce, slaves and warriors when needed.
How can a girl hope to cope with this without education and proper parental guidance that was lost during the war?
Any woman who can survive this; bring up 2 or 3 children or more on a limited income with little or no support from a spouse gets a medal in my mind.
My mother for instance, had me and my siblings; had at least one miscarriage and a stillborn child and to my knowledge with no medical and psychological support at all. Premenstrual tension, postnatal depression or any other psychological disorder that occurs when we are exposed to stressful situations – such as poor living conditions, poor wages and a absent fathers was never a consideration … does this mean it didn’t happen?
I see this from the British perspective (1939-1945) but it has and does happen throughout the world and ages. Wars continue and while this happens the education of young women and the bringing up of children is seen low priority. It seems that the mother’s of the boomers are seen as part of the machine; part of the recovery of war and that the end justifies the means.
This is shocking as my mum reaches her 90th year. Although her education at grammar school ended before she had hoped; our education was always her utmost concern. I bear witness to that. She never complained directly; I saw her pain, anguish, her empty plate , empty purse, the squalor and despair and the difficulties filling our empty bellies.
I am not going all melancholy and nostalgic – it was shit – my mother harsh at times and perhaps affected by pretty ghastly psychological disorders. But she was dealt an awful hand and motherhood is not all instinct and love.
It is to do with education and respect And women still do not get it.
Firewood … part 2
Now my sister and I side by side, walking along the flotsam and jetsam left by the tide earlier in the day. Increasing speed, running hither and thither where the pickings were abundant; selecting a favoured piece maybe, a pretty shade of duck egg blue washed by the sea, or sculpted like a bird or sea creature. Drift wood was not always a piece of wreckage sometimes it was as twisted root or branch that had been tossed about in the tide, bleached and washed by the sun and the sea, then draped with seaweed and attached with barnacles we would hold it up to the fading light swing in the air to try and give it life … but we are looking for long -burn –ability unfortunately this little trinket would burn in a flash and not worth the effort and sadly it was kicked aside with the cuttlefish bones and dead jelly fish.
Soon they found a rather larger plank that might do but it was too large to carry –unless we can break it as my father might have done with a mighty jump upon a weakened joint. We would try and take flying leaps on the plank that we managed to prop up against a huge tree trunk – we failed, fearing we had wasted valuable time we hurried a bit more to recoup our losses. It was not long before we would find another childish delight it may only be a plastic bucket, a small wreck or tangled fishing nets it doesn’t take much to tease our imagination. We spy a disembowelled bird, a vivid reminder that we are not the only scavengers about that afternoon. We didn’t notice the fading light and the waves lapping ever closer.
Just above the water’ edge is a sea wall made to protect the salt flats that had once dominated the area; it had been broken through by the continued wind and tide. Water was beginning to flood across our path ahead it was rushing through and would soon be a raging torrent.
The crying sea-gulls warned the little interlopers that their time was up. We gather up our bags and fill them to capacity; looking more closely, kicking aside the sea weed we would find small pieces of timber that would fill the corners of the bags. Although still damp from the tide they would soon dry when placed close to the grate and ideal to use in the morning when smaller pieces are required for a quick flame.
Today we were lucky; with the seagull’s timely call and the previous generous tide we could be pleased with our gatherings. We, little hunters just needed to retrace our steps over the shingle back to the sea wall and look out for the lighted lamp that my father would have placed on the window ledge.
Safe from the tide now, the fading light- still made difficult to find the path. We pulled any pieces of wood we could not carry beyond the tide mark for another day. The dead bird would be fodder for the carrion crows or washed out on the next tide. We staggered with our bags between the hummocks of sedge, dried and brutal swords stabbing at our coats as we hurried past. We found our way along the lane and down the track where we lived and our unlit gangplank had to be negotiated carefully it was narrow with no handrail and inclined to be slippery and most fearsome was the gap between the boat and the bank.














