What’s to be done?

As I finish yet another very beautiful piece, label it and put it away with all the other lovely pieces; I grieve. When I began my MA in textiles, I understood that it is research-based course and could be done remotely with regular weekly visits for tutorials and lectures.  As I had an awkward and long commute, 2 days a week suited me; during the following 5 months, I enjoyed the library, communal workspace with the techs, BAs, and the PHD students.  I got a good sense of university life that I dreamed of in 1966.  When the first lockdown happened while it did feel a little like an estrangement; bolstered by several months of valuable research I was able to use the time to build a body of experimental work and went on to begin my professional practice as a film maker.  It was very challenging and rewarding and allowed me to enjoy my work and being alone.

As an artist and used to a degree of isolation I carried on pretty much as usual and now ready to submit my next phase of work for the course.

However, with the second lockdown along with the inclement weather; I am thinking the estrangement is harsh and debilitating and my work less pleasing.  I am despondent about the future; mine and that of the world in general.  I am seventy years old; hardly in my prime and any opportunities for an aging student are fading fast. 

In the short time and for the rest of the course I wonder, having considered film making as a professional practice linked with my textile background; how can I produce a final piece?  I have limited knowledge of animation, stop motion and moreover puppetry without professional guidance and feedback I cannot at the moment see the way forward.

I have enjoyed the 3 dimensional and digital element of my professional practice. While I enjoy stitching, dyeing and printing and find comfort in 2 dimensions and textiles; the space and depth within film making is fearsome and exciting.

I can presently champion the DIY qualities of my work and celebrate or disregard Covid 19 and isolation in 10 second loops; with the best will in the world with this I will not become a master as I hoped.