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Saturday thought

June 29, 2013


While my daughter has been away in Brazil, we have communicated almost daily. Usually by email; very short or very long. They are always about ourselves; we rarely talk about someone else unless he or she has had an influence on the matter in hand.  They are tender moments of pure indulgence; the remnants of a wonderful relationship we shared before she went to university and then Brazil.  

Our separation has been difficult yet beautiful and I would not change a thing! Nonetheless, there are times we find ourselves in the depths of despair; seemingly beyond hope. For a multiple of reasons but usually because our email language has not been appropriate.  

We all know how careful we must be in certain situations at work and and home, to check and recheck before we ‘send’ an email.   

So daughter and I have unspoken rules that eliminate a check beforehand; because frankly if I checked every email before I ‘sent’ to her I would be doing it all day; in some cases the email wouldn’t be sent.

In a close relationship and normal conversations, we often say things that we regret and not in a position to ‘not’ send or press pause.  These heated words, good or bad are often the crux of the moment and need to be expressed.  

So, we try to remain honest and open, trying not to  filter out other delights such as love, humour and other nuggets of fine information.  Anger too, it is healthy to express anger, or dissatisfaction in a semi-controlled space.

Its important in an email to put a word or two in the title to give the reader a hint of the content. Years ago I remember this was a rule when sending a business letter or memo to say ‘referring to ,.,.’ so the duplicate copy was filed accordingly.  Mother and daughter have no need for such bureaucracy; do they?

For instance ‘cake’ with image means ‘Hi, I am ok’ Similarly, tea!

The words ‘Oh dear’ are more problematic.  A  box of tissues and privacy will be necessary.  Also, there are degrees of Oh dear-ness, I have experienced both ends of the scale.  I tend to approach these with a degree of trepidation. Once, I had ‘Oh, dear I have got on the wrong bus and going in the wrong direction for a very important meeting in an hours time.  Or ‘Oh. dear which dress, red or blue?’

I too have ‘Oh, dear’ moments; my age and experience doesn’t make me any more sensible or careful.  

Sometimes it is difficult to add a title, when subject matter varies from ‘Please send some Earl Grey tea to ‘Oh dear there was a shooting in the Favela last night and I haven’t slept a wink’.

Email is the most convenient way to communicate and express our feelings even if a little fragmented.  Remembering, for every spoken word there are many unspoken or documented; we must grab them, truths or otherwise, hold them to our hearts and let them go.  This is vital because there is nothing we can do to alleviate the ‘oh dear’ moments except wrap them in love and send them on their way.  

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