Saturday Supplication

I have been back in the UK  from Brazil nearly two weeks now: it has been a difficult transition,  I didn’t expect otherwise, although I did go (I thought) to great lengths to lighten the intensity of the grief   One thing I thought was important, not to have a big plan for when I returned.  Last time I came back with a list as long as my arm; a huge project.  While it did soften the blow; it was hands-on, busy and not particularly pleasant. Sorting out the loft and decorating etc was not that great; however with hindsight it was the lesser of two evils.

This time I decided to just keep the tender picture of my time in Brazil in my mind and not have a big and clumsy plan.  Except I did have an idea that I might write a book,  not a novel, more of a picture book; no name or theme I just knew I would begin. I hoped that the inspiration would come … or so I thought

Sadly it hasn’t happened as I hoped … yet.  The separation from my daughter has left me grieve stricken and bereft of any warm feelings about life back here in UK. Worse, the book still has pristine pages and my drawing board is empty; even from any rudimentary attempts at artwork.

So I begin this weekend with a prayer and a heartfelt plea to that creative goddess who  tempted me so attractively prior to my trip to Brazil; ‘May she come back, so that my pen and pencils will be put to good use.’