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Saturday …. A thought … Can you have a mutual admiration society of one?

December 8, 2012

2012-12-06 02.55.07

After many years of looking for my lost best friend; I will give up.

In primary school I had a friend; she was my best friend with whom I shared every intimate secret; we adventured together.  Our backgrounds relatively speaking were poles apart. I came from a large family living like vagabonds in a houseboat on the edge of a river.  My friend Pat was an only child living in a nearby village in a house.  I was a brave adventurer of 8 years. Pat, almost the same age was more timid and very dependant on her parents.  We were the perfect pair we spent the next few years like sisters but without the squabbles; no time for that!  We discussed our fears, loves and living.For instance we would sit, side by side in the outside privy talking about our bodies as they changed shape and began to behave differently.
We sat together down the garden making loud burps, telling rude jokes discussing issues that were not spoken about beyond our realms; our secrets.  We were devoted to each other … the little mutual admiration society.
Until I changed schools when I was eleven; Pat was a few months younger and stayed at primary school until the following year.  This separation was as if I had had a limb sliced from me.  Although I recovered it took a long time. I made new friends but they never filled the mighty hole.  I remained adventuresome and found comrades as the need arose; but they were only associated with a certain aspect of my life or particular adventure.  As my life went on I formed relationships with some of the ‘associates’ some more intimate than others. None filled the role of a best friend with whom I could discuss the shape of my left bosom or the life and times of Karl Marx.
I kept looking, always disappointed and sometimes it caused relationship problems.  Of course, this has not been a serious issue as I have a husband and children who have been a constant delight over the last 40 years and remain so.
However, with my last child flying the nest a little beyond the bounds of normal to Brazil; I found myself with a huge void and the quest find my best friend began again.
Looking round at my associates and friends with whom I am especially fond I see none with whom I can share all my intimate dreams, hopes and fears … they would glaze over in five minutes flat and who could blame them? It is beyond the call of duty!
So I have decided the quest is over I will let things be.

2012-12-06 02.55.30

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